What’s Going On

November 2015

It’s birthday month, and that means things have become carbo-loaded and leisurely. This weekend I was giving a pep talk to the lady in the mirror; I told her to have some decorum because she’s thirty now. She called me a liar then went to bury her feelings with pasta. So that’s the update on where we are with aging gracefully. Now that I’m into another decade, it’s taking me longer to do things than it did when I was in my twenties. Did I just use a sentence that ended with: “When I was in my twenties”? Jesus. And so it begins.

All of the good intentions in the world caused this month’s update to be pushed back a little bit. Such a pity too. I like looking back over the month and actually noticing that I’ve accomplished something.

I’m Writing a Book
Dream big or go home…I’ve heard that somewhere.
I found a gaggle of kids to read my book. This is good news because they’re actually my target demographic, so some valuable insight might be on the horizon. This is the age, however, that constructive criticism comes in the form of the not-so-eloquent, “You suck.” I maintain positivity until this actually happens.

Fat’s Corner
Oh, God. I gave the feline a platform.
My little feline is moving! She didn’t think like not being in the home page feed, so she’s taken up residence in the blog itself. It’s not enough that she hogs the bed…Soon you’ll find her nonsense scatterd amongst the weekly posts.

The book of 99
99 little things to do to pass the time.
This one was actually inspired by Boyfriend. He asked me to draw a rendition of what he would look like if he were listening to me…so I drew him with duct tape around his head. Guaranteed listening and a literal captive audience. Win. Before I paint myself to be an entirely horrible person I want to point out that the duct tape addition was Boyfriend’s idea too. At least I think it was…well, can’t prove it either way.

#3 Draw a Picture of a Friend

#3 Draw a Picture of a Friend

What I’m reading:
I’m always looking for a good book; let me know if there’s something I should be reading.
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I just finished The Martian by Andy Weir. Super science, super stressful and super storyline. Put yourself in Mark Watney’s space boots: abandoned on Mars with no hope of seeing another human for years. Holy hell, no thank you to that situation. Great imagination on this Andy fellow – my ignorance about space and chemistry and math and botany and anything remotely useful makes me think that this situation could actually happen. Could it? Seems legit.

Favourite Things:
Hey, if Oprah can boast about her favourite things, I can too.
I fell in love with these framed ceiling tiles years ago. There is this company, TinHouse Designs, that salvages these gorgeous old tin tiles, cleans them up and frames them all pretty. I have a purchase problem with this company – any time I see them at an artisan market I end up walking away with another piece for my collection. Check them out.
http://www.tinhousedesigns.ca/

To all the other new thirty-year-olds out there, I’m happy to join you. Those young kids with their ya-ya music and high top sneakers… I’ll take my Victrola and bunny slippers any day. I kid, of course.

Until next month, kids.

-Kat


October 2015

I live in the land of good intentions. I started September with a grand list of great things I was going to do to make life better (better is just an opinion, I mean easier) for myself come autumn time. The problem is I think my attention span changes with the season; it goes into hibernation mode when the temperature dips. My brain says no to everything but to her credit, she’s always willing to offer an alternate activity.

Hey brain, want to go clean out the closet so you can actually find the clothes you’re looking for?
Like hell I do, self. How about instead we see if anybody wants to go to a movie?
Yeah, okay. I could do that.

Brain, you want to go get some groceries for the week?
Nope. You know what’s more fun? Going to the climbing gym.
Yeah, okay. I’d be up for that.

I get outsmarted by my brain all the time – it’s so conniving and knows exactly what to say to make me jump ship on productivity. What I need is more discipline.
Or instead of getting discipline, you could go read in a coffee shop with a bucket-sized latte. Yes, yes.
God damn it, brain. You and your seductive thoughts. You’re the reason we haven’t made much progress in the way of getting the book published.

I’m Writing a Book
Dream big or go home…I’ve heard that somewhere.
A scene from a recent Friday night: Dining at a beautiful ocean-side restaurant, inhaling a delectable calamari appetizer and getting yelled at because my book isn’t published. My friend, a sometimes-charming gent in magazine publishing, loves to get on my case. Dinner was going well until he started bellowing: “Where’s the book? Publish the book. Write the other books too.” It wasn’t long before the surrounding tables vacated to give him more space to chastise me. Even at the best of times he’s not the most quiet or subtle, but I appreciate the fact that he’s in my corner. That night he sent my book to a sampling of my reader demographic. I am eagerly and apprehensively (those two are a strange pair in conjunction, but trust me when I say the word choice is precise) awaiting results. Sending that book into the unknown is much like watching your best friend lowered into a piranha tank. Sorry, Bestie.

Other than that, I’ve finally gathered my gumption and sent my book out to two literary agents. Two seemed like an unintimidating number to start with…and these agents photograph in a friendly way; their pictures don’t lead me to believe they are of the piranha variety. I’m in the midst of researching more agents who represent YA fiction, so providing my brain cooperates, greater strides in progress will ensue.
Chin up, self. Grit those teeth and hang in for several rounds; don’t get knocked out.

What I’m reading:
I’m always looking for a good book; let me know if there’s something I should be reading.

ec84e5af-a78b-47fc-9b84-90b6c6f94217I just finished reading The Giver by Lois Lowry. This was a recommendation by Bestie and an impulse purchase at my local bookstore. I suppose the first thing I want to say is: WHEN YOU SUGGEST A BOOK TO A FRIEND, YOU LET THEM KNOW THEY’RE GETTING INTO A SERIES; it’s like taking me to an all-you-can eat buffet when I say I’m in a snacking mood. Needless to say, I am now committed to reading three more books. Wow… that kind of comes off like I’m unimpressed and hate to associate with books. Quite the contrary – The Giver is a young adult series, so it took no time to breeze through and the dystopian tale is worthy of a read. Life shouldn’t be orchestrated; beware the sameness, kids.

Fat’s Corner
Oh, God. I gave the feline a platform.
Fat hacked my computer password again and Googled ‘advice-givers’ on the internet. The feline has discovered Dear Abby and thinks she has the capacity to offer advice in the same manner. She has no idea how to human, but considers herself an expert on people (…because everyone wants advice from something that repeatedly finds herself stuck – of her own accord – inside one of the kitchen cupboards). Frankly, I don’t even think she has sound advice to give to other house pets. If you seek the wisdom of the good doctor, leave her a comment or email katrina.mead@gmail.com. She’ll do what she can to help. I only write this because she’s threatening to claw my favourite blue sweater if I don’t.

The book of 99
99 little things to do to pass the time.

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#1 Draw a picture with your eyes closed.

I couldn’t trust myself not to cheat with the drawing. I had to take precautions and wrap my head in a scarf. Frankly, I think it’s the next fall trend – the blind gypsy look. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t be any more on fleek (oh geez, I just said that). I do beautiful work, no? For reference, I labelled the drawing for you. I’m just trying to spare you a WTF moment.

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I also discovered the secret to meditation is cookies:

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#34 Meditate

Random Hodgepodge
Have you heard of this thing called tree shaping? It is absolutely crazy and beautiful. If I had a green space, copious amounts of dollars and years to wait for results, I would have a Lewis Carrol-inspired backyard. However, if that were to ever happen, there’s no guarantee I could resist the urge to make-believe I was the Queen of Hearts. It’ll be me shouting, “Off with their heads!” anytime a visitor or mailman pops by. Oh god. I’m going to be that neighbour that parents warn their children about.

Favourite Things:
Hey, if Oprah can boast about her favourite things, I can too.
1) The barter system lives! I have an I.T. guy and I pay for his services with pie. No, that is not a euphemism. Actual pie of the strawberry rhubarb variety, you sickos. Beware the implementation of the barter system – prepare for supreme negotiations. It turns out I.T. guys will not work for blueberry pie; don’t screw the order up, otherwise you’ll be stuck with a blueberry pie and a busted website.

8a33cd42-7ac0-45e9-a4aa-0743ee07c4e82) Lush surprises from best friends. Bestie, Hubby and Mini Bestie needed to borrow my shower because theirs was out of commission. They gifted me a veritable Lush store in my bathroom – such handmade, artisan-y deliciousness for all my parts.  In perfect honesty, I thought the new plug-in air freshener is what smelled so good, but no, that freshener be waaaaaay busted. But I digress. Lush has this coconut shampoo, Trichomania Shampoo… everyone should own this. Go now and e-shop with your credit dollars (lush.ca); everybody knows credit dollars aren’t real money, spend away! In other not-entirely unrelated news, I would be a terrible financial advisor

3)Have you seen the movie We’re the Millers? Kathryn Hahn is my new favourite person. Her expressions and comedic timing make this woman nothing short of spectacular. I laugh so hard at her preciousness. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1063517/

Good Vibes and Good Karma
Goodness is a key ingredient in awesome.
This video was on the news a few weeks back, and the message resonated with me. I have this tremendous fear of getting to the end of my life and using the phrase, “I should have…” or “I wish I’d…”
I do, and will always, forgo sleep to milk a great moment while it’s happening. I’ve had nights where “two more minutes” stretches into hours. Late nights are the reason coffee was invented.
http://globalnews.ca/news/2199972/women-reveal-what-theyd-do-differently-if-they-were-young-again/?utm_source=Other&utm_medium=MostPopular&utm_campaign=2014

This is just too heartwarming not to post. This adorable six-year-old cancer patient lived a superhero life for a day thanks to the Children’s Wish Foundation of Canada. SpiderMable, you are too cute.

I can’t believe you read all that nonsense I wrote. I hope you found at least some of it interesting and worth your time. If you did, cool, I’ll check in with more stuff next month. If you weren’t into it at all, it might make you feel better to know that I have, on previous occasion, been pied in the face. And again, real pie, not a euphemism.

If you want to get in touch, check out the Contacts Page. I’m happy to hear from you.

Enjoy your fun decisions, kids.

-Kat


September 2015

Well, kids, the hiatus is over and I’ve made the voyage back to my desk. Fat took off for a little while to do her own thing and, as the little freak is my muse, the blog suffered. A thousand apologies. However: the last couple weeks of August, I’ve been hard at work trying to get back at it and Sessions With Fat is in the midst of a facelift.

Take in the current pictures while you can; they’re about to head off into the figurative sunset. It’s time for something new. Prepare for some rad cartoon artwork in the banner and throughout the blog. Kaitlin Nagy – a fabulous talent whose portfolio is super diverse and impressive – has been working on breathing some new life into SWF. She’s a current Emily Carr student and quite kooky and adventurous (as can be seen on her social media pages). Check her out on Instagram @kaitlinthecreative. This is one of the interpretations she was playing around with:

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What’s going on blog-wise? Starting September 1st, I’ll be uploading a new post every Tuesday, so make sure to come and read about Fat’s latest antics. I feel like Tuesday is the best day for it because:

  1. Tuesday is the left hook of the work week and we need something to look forward to
  2. Let’s face it, Mondays are hard enough as it is and I’m lucky enough to make it through the work day, let alone hunker down and do anything productive after the 9-5 is over
  3. Margarita Tuesdays. We’re making it a thing. Be part of the movement. Fat’s bitchiness pairs very nicely with a lime margarita on the rocks. A fictional margarita sommelier told me that.

Another new addition to the blog are these monthly updates. I’m not going to lie, most of it will likely be nonsense – brace yourselves. I’ll try to mix it up with something relevant from time to time just to buck the trend of idiocy.

Fat’s Corner
Oh, God. I gave the feline a platform.
You may have already clicked on the new page here called Fat’s Corner. Fat decided she needed a place to offer her thoughts on life and advice she’d like to pass on. The idea of giving her a page on my site seemed to have bad idea written all over it – but I’m letting her do it providing she stops drinking out of the toilet. Amid her “life lessons”, Fat wants to help you out too (she seems to think it adds value but I’m exercising apprehension). Feel free to ask her advice or thoughts on whatever subject and she’ll post a response. I can’t promise she’ll actually be able to assist you with your problems (especially if you’ve read how helpful she’s been solving mine). Just leave a comment or email me, Katrina.mead@gmail.com and I’ll pass along your questions to the feline.

The book of 99
99 little things to do to pass the time.
A friend of mine got me this book called 99 and it’s full of 99 things to do. As a means to fuel writing procrastination, I’m going to start working away at these 99 things and will post photos of the tasks on instagram @katrina_mead. I won’t be doing them in chronological order, but I will update you on progress in the next newsletter. The 99th thing to do is compile a list of 99 more things to do so the fun will be endless. If you have any suggestions of things to add to this list, send me an email: Katrina.mead@gmail.com. Since I get therapy from my cat I need all the help I can get.

#19 Was a delicious smelling disaster
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Random Hodgepodge
Something I learned this summer:
The Vancouver Public Library has this thing called an Inspiration Pass. Vancouverites can go and get a library card and check out this pass that will get them into various local cultural venues for free for a two-week period. Follow the link below – you’ll save many dollars and get to see some cool stuff (Hooray for cool stuff!). Seriously, do it. And then you can check out books to read too.
http://pwp.vpl.ca/inspirationpass/

What I’m reading:
I’m always looking for a good book; let me know if there’s something I should be reading.
Yes, I’m way late to the Freakonomics party, but if bad movies have taught me anything, only the seriously lame folk are the ones on time to a party – I’m more the type that likes to show up after everybody else is in that drunk buffoon state in order to fuel my superiority complex. This book though, yes (in my world we operate on a yes/no opinion). I’m not usually one for non-fiction, but the content is easily digestible and thought provoking. Reading it is like realizing the art that’s been on your wall forever has actually been hung up the wrong way. Such a refreshing perspective and just a lesson that there are infinite ways to interpret the world. Get it, read it, enjoy it.
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Favourite Things:
Hey, if Oprah can boast about her favourite things, I can too.
This month, one of my Favourite things is a beverage: Malibu Rum + pineapple juice + soda + lime = fantasmagoria. I serve it in a fancy teacup and call it Kat’s Best Friend. Don’t tell my actual bestie, she’s kind of the jealous type – but after a few of these I stop caring how she feels about it. Sorry, Bestie.

I’m Writing a Book
Dream big or go home…I’ve heard that somewhere.
Yeah. So. I’m writing a book because why the hell not? It’s a teen fiction and has at times been both my dream and my nightmare. Official progress report: after various rewrites, edits, plot changes, versions, and tears of frustration we’re at the point where I’m going to find it a home. Hopefully a good one. Wish me luck. I’ll keep you posted.

Good Vibes and Good Karma
Goodness is a key ingredient in awesome.
Fat was actually a rescue from the SPCA. There are too many animals out there in need of love and a good home. If you want a furry companion like Fat, check out local shelters and give abandoned animals a beautiful life.
http://www.spca.bc.ca/

If you’re looking for a cat or dog in the Vancouver area or just want to help out a worthy animal cause, get in touch with this society. It’s run by a woman with a big heart and huge compassion for animals.
http://www.actionforanimals.net/

This seems to be the right spot to thank my muses for being encouraging and ever so helpful with the love/hate relationship I have with getting my ass in the chair to write; I appreciate all of you. Jeffy, you are the best at the computer stuff and my impatience with technology owes you huge. Kels, thanks for always paddling that goddamn canoe with me – wherever we’re going, we’ll get there eventually, but in the meantime, let’s enjoy the circles.

I suppose that’s it for now. Thanks for being here to read about my time with Fat. Feel free to get in touch if you’re looking to get social:

Instagram: @katrina.mead
Twitter: @katrina_mead
Email: katrina.mead@gmail.com

I feel like there should be some sage advice here as a signoff…

If you can’t make good decisions, at least make fun decisions (mantra of my life, people).

Best,

Kat